c'est la vie

My 28th Contract

2010-05-31T05:13:00.000-07:00

Time passes so fast
Guess, the Almighty has pushed the fast forward button
I am thanking Him for it
He has been creating my days with the great story-board; arguing my options, testifying my choices, protecting me from mislead ways, approving my proposal of life, selecting people around me, blessing me talent and all He has given to my life that I can't say one by one

On the day, the level will be upgraded and the 28th contract has been waiting.

I pray Bismillahirahmannirahiim...
I wish for all the best for me and anything in this world that related to me
Guess, that's enough...

The other half of my heart

2010-05-27T02:07:00.000-07:00

Bang!
It was just like a dynamite that ready to explode
Bang!
Since you left me behind for the reason that broke me into pieces
I was there
Alone
Tried to figure it out
Yeah...
You left me behind and wings off to the unknown world

I could hardly believe of the crack which I had to face
You are the other half of my heart
But
You couldn't stick here in my life

You made me alienated
And I became a bitter one
The darkness had filled my previous days
Till another shit thing came around
And I had to face and deal with

Yeah...
Maybe all those cracks had teached me
How tough I am and at the end that is someday I could find the other half of my heart again

So sad indeed
I always whispered through every hard breath I made
"I need you my other half...Please come back...Please bright me again with your existence in my bleak life"

Years had passed
And I gradually became better
Don't know which power I have could save me
Thought I had lost all the power to be alive

Time after time
Till I build a family and my own business
I feel better
At least, I have them whenever I feel crack and empty
But still...
I haven't yet found what I need

Snap!
For years...
Those feelings never emerge
I am so surprised...happy oh so happy...shaking...yeah...I feel it again!
All the feelings strucked me suddenly

Click yes!
Of course I accepted you...
Rejoining my life
For...you are who I've been looking and waiting for
Though maybe I find you in different looks and background

That's fine...
I don't care...
For me, you're still the other half of my heart...and always be...
I feel your bright come across to enlighten my bleak, tortured and empty heart

Please come to my days...
Just to ensure and watch me
That's I am still alive
Yeah...
and feel so alive...

Dear, my other half...
I need you to help and support me
To put back the broken pieces for years ago...

Thank you... :)

Deep Inside Your Heart

2010-05-27T02:00:00.000-07:00

We never know what other have in their minds and hearts.
We also sometimes never know what exactly things in our minds and heart for minds and hearts do not keep the things (memories) we have seen and felt but they imply those things into something so real to us though they may be as a reality indeed or just a dream...

Deep inside your heart...
Whatever it is...right or wrong doesn't exist here coz heart never say sth wrong

Deep inside your heart...
Just you who know the fill of your heart
Often, you deny or distract it...

Deep inside your heart
The honest thing reveals...
And that your life derived from :)

"Kidnap me, please..." (an example)

2010-05-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

Apa yang anda pikirkan saat mendengar atau melihat kalimat tersebut? Di benak anda mungkin aneh. Mana ada orang yang dengan senang hati mau diculik apalagi diculik oleh komplotan penjahat kelas kakap di luar sana dengan meminta tebusan dalam jumlah yang tidak masuk akal (menurut saya). Bagaimanapun nyawa tidak sebanding dengan berapapun besar jumlah uang tebusan.

Jauh dari pembahasan mengenai penculikan seperti itu, “Kidnap me, please…” disini akan mengangkat sisi lain (read: sisi liar atau fantasi) makna penculikan. Pernahkah anda terlintas saat anda tengah kasmaran dengan sang pujaan atau kekasih anda. Mungkin khayalan seperti pergi berlibur bersama atau sekedar makan malam romantis terlintas di benak anda, Namun, kadang kaum wanita enggan untuk memulai terlebih dulu untuk mewujudkannya. Mungkin kaum wanita diciptakan selalu menerima dan kaum pria seharusnyalah yang memulai segala sesuatu dalam suatu hubungan. Padahal, berdasarkan survey yang dilakukan mengenai masalah ini, 50% kaum pria menginginkan pasangan atau gebetannya memiliki ide sedikit “out of box” (read: liar) dengan alasan hubungan yang tengah dibina terasa lebih hidup dan menggairahkan.

Salah satu pria yang kami survey bercerita mengenai petualangan dan hubungan percintaannya dengan gebetannya yang sekarang menjadi kekasihnya. Pria berinisial H ini mengawali hubungan dengan kekasihnya saat mereka berada dalam lingkup kerja yang sama. Dari awal melihat, pria ini mengaku naksir berat kepada wanita yang menjadi kekasihnya sekarang itu. Selain kecantikan dari luar ternyata ada sisi yang berbeda yang pria ini rasakan. Berdekatan dengan wanita itu bagaikan menari di langit (read: seru). Beruntungnya pria ini disambut terbuka oleh sang pujaan. Menurutnya komunikasi yang hangat disertai jokes-jokes atau diskusi yang seimbang menjadikan komunikasi dua arah terbentuk dengan baik dan lancar.
Suatu ketika si wanita berulang tahun, si pria berniat memberikan kado istimewa yaitu mengutarakan niatnya untuk menjadi pacarnya. Lucunya wanita ini ketika ditanya mau kado apa (selain yang kado rahasia tadi), dia malah menjawab “Kidnap me, please…”.
Pria 30 tahun ini terkejut tentunya. Bagaimana tidak terkejut ternyata sang gebetan sudah merasakan hal yang sama tanpa dia harus mengutarakan terlebih dahulu. Kebetulan pria ini tipe yang sangat fleksibel. Dia berpendapat bahwa wanita itu makhluk yang unik tapi kadang menyesatkan. Namun kali ini, cupid tidak salah memanahkan hati kepadanya. “Kidnap me, please…” dengan lugas dia merespon “ Sure I will…for you on your special day…” ^__^

Jadi, untuk mengutarakan perasaan tidak selalu tabu bukan. Selama dalam batas-batas jauh dari agresif. Kadang jokes-jokes memberikan sentuhan natural atau santai dalam suatu komunikasi antar lawan jenis seperti jokes “Kidnap me, please…” tadi. Pria cenderung bebas dan menginginkan hubungan yang tidak monoton. Saya yakin hubungan yang tengah dibangun terasa lebih hidup dan bergairah. Selamat mencoba tips ini. “Kidnap me, please…”

Menu of The Day

2010-05-10T04:41:00.000-07:00

What you will fill on your empty plate or glass in your hands today?

A cook has already served a set of complete menu;
The main course, dessert, appetizer and drink with its variants

The ingredients of main course are well-combined with high-tech and healthy cooking process
Those are served well-furnished

The dessert are created by sweet and sour ingredients
Its aim is to give fresh touch for the enjoyers' tongues

What about the appetizer?
The appetizer is made full of passion for it becomes the first impression whether the next menu is tasty or not

And the drink choices are mixed of many kinds of liquids or fresh fruit to heal the thirsty guilty after grab all the menu

After all menu have been tasted and the appetite on it completed, the next menu have been waiting

It's now your turn to think of
Are you ready to create a set of complete menu
It has to do with your self-skill and creativity, of course

Just enjoy the process and find yourself surprised on the result to be served

What's the menu of today?

Note:
It's just an analogy of what you can serve on your days ahead

FF

2010-05-10T04:29:00.000-07:00

It's just like an old tape recorder
It's not automatically can be fast forwarded
It's manually done

Yet, the fall or fail
It cannot be fast forwarded automatically as that easy
It sometimes can be done if we totally have passed the phase of healing
We always manually and gradually fix it with all our full energy to being humble and sober

But, if it is as easy as we blink our eyes
There's no process of fighting with tons of tears, unbalanced spot and reason-cause realization
And there's no a best teacher which called a lesson-learn

So, should we be afraid to fall or fail?
Why should?
Fall or fail is the only beginning for us to grown-up, to move on and to walk on the life

Believe it or not. We never always win the game, right?
So, just manually follow the line...

Come... and Go...

2008-07-11T03:41:00.000-07:00

every come has go
does every go have come?

every birth has death
after death i don't have any idea?

can't imagine...
my family...home.....all my friends
can we meet again in other kind of life?

hope...love you all!!!

1st of June 2008

2008-06-03T02:53:00.000-07:00

am 26 y.o

if i remember years before i asked what will i be years ahead
one thing for me to be so special - i always got my bday cake and cheerful moments with people around me Thank God!

but...that's not the point. i hope every year i pass that those times i have learned valuable things which put and make me to be a better and better me...

once again, Thank to Allah SWT for give me a chance to learn and grab anythings around and pass me...

Happy Birthday Vie!

Silence

2008-05-19T01:52:00.000-07:00

Keep my words in head
Drop my ego down
Freeze my feeling in a cube
Jail my willing in that same space

No act to be shown
No words to be spoken
Am just in silence
Till unlimited times

Being ikhlas

2008-05-14T21:09:00.000-07:00

Hard to obey when we got in trouble
Hard to believe when we got a question in mind
Hard to let go when we don't want it far
Hard to accept when all things don't seem match

are we harsh enough?
it's simply to be but it's hard to do
but for sure it helps us a lot
just being ikhlas for all the things we face in our hectic lives

Judgment Day

2008-05-14T01:36:00.001-07:00

Two steps I will make through
To become another me in other part of my journey
Difficult, it is…
Probably I’ll be that nice another me
Or unclear another me
But the judgment day has come
And I should choose

Help me God...

2008-04-08T21:59:00.000-07:00

"Life o Life...don't smile or cry if the life u live in you don't know...it's only a journey"

Patch by Patch

2008-03-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

I don't care about anything
Even if I'm running a little late in the morning
I'm gonna try my best
How many times have I stupidly
Got my hopes up? There are no barriers
That's why I keep trying

If I can't see a blue sky,
Open up my blue umbrella.
Isn't that great? The canvas is mine

If I feel my dreams are dying Hold tight I've got the music in me

Why have I suffered?
Almost the same blows such countless times?
But even so, I'll probably fight again
That is one of life’s mysteries

Satu Bintang di Langit Kelam (a song from Rita Sita Dewi)

2008-03-26T00:35:00.000-07:00

Angkasa tanpa pesan merengkuh semakin dalam
Berselimut debu waktu kumenanti cemas

Kau datang dengan sederhana
Satu bintang dilangit kelam
Sinarmu rimba pesona dan kutahu tlah tersesat

Kukejar kau takkan bertepi
Menggapaimu takkan bersambut
Sendiri membendung rasa ini
Sementara kau membeku
Khayalku terbuai jauh
Pelita kecilmu mengalir pelan dan aku terbenam
Redup kilaumu tak mengarah
Jadilah diriku selatan
Namun tak kau sadari hingga kini dan nanti

How Do I breathe?

2008-03-18T21:53:00.000-07:00

Caught in the rush time
Can’t seeing u anymore
Who take care of me?
Whom I can lay my head on?

With u I can be free
Like air without dust
Now, how do I breathe?
I got cold in my heart

2008-03-11T21:51:00.000-07:00

2008-03-11T21:48:00.000-07:00

Java Jazz Festival 2008

2008-03-11T21:38:00.001-07:00

Finally....

Gw nonton juga niy. pake jalan kaki dulu pula menuju JJC nya gara-gara macet ga jelas gitu.
Yah terbayar bangeeettt sama Syaharani and Queenfireworks, Park Drive, Glen Fredly, Lee Ritenour ma Bobby Caldwell deh...ketemu beberapa temen sodara juga disana. Hmmm...jadi mikir next year nonton lagi ga yah? wakakaka ;p (Mauuuuu!!!)

Liat deh foto2 gw ma temen2 in the middle of that Java Jazz Festival. Please enjoy!

Just My Wandering

2008-03-04T23:57:00.000-08:00

Togetherness we make like a harmony in a song
Separation only a falseto in that melody
Why can't we get in love then

Hate to say what is faith
Fare not fare
We only accept it

Just my wandering?

Thank You

2008-02-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

Words

Sight

Sounds

Hearing

Heart

Act
Mistery of the nature

and all that create and influence me as i am now.

I thank You, Allah.

For some reasons, i am so colorful in this world.

My Today-Song

2008-02-27T00:43:00.000-08:00

I’ll be Over You – Toto

Some people live their dreams
Some people close their eyes
Some peoples destiny
Passes by

There are no guarantees
There are no alibis
That’s how our love must be
Don’t ask why

It takes some time
God knows how long
I know that I can forget you

As soon as my heart stops breaking
Anticipating
As soon as forever is through
I’ll be over you

Remembering times gone by
Promises we once made
What are the reasons why
Nothing stays the same

There were the nights holding you close
Someday Ill try to forget them
Someday Ill be over you

Can't Wait to watch JJF ^_^

2008-02-25T21:08:00.000-08:00

"Ayo, mba qta pesen online sekarang aja." teriak gw ke mba Nov(one of my office mate yang secara musik nyambung secara buku juga nyambung tapie she got more ;p)
Abis itu, langsung deh mba nov buka website javajazz www.javajazzfestival.com nya.
"Teteenggg..." nah mulai deh isi-isi requirement datanya. click then click and last print out deh tuh bukti registration on-linenya...
"asik!!!" dalam hati gw teriak, soalnya dah lama bgt gw pengen nonton niy konser (secara ada Bobby Caldwell, one of Special Show Jazz artist yg lagu2nya dah biasa gw denger gara2 pny keluarga yg doyan bgt ma jazz music sampe kaset lamanya mas Bobby aja masi ada wekekeke).

Cukup lama gw nunggu...9 hari lagi bo! gw ga sabar gini. ngebayangin nerve gw kalo liat live suaranya Bobby dkk. sampe gw jadwalin jam2 berapa aja gw mesti liat mereka show...untung JJF well-organized buanget jadi gw bakal bisa liat jazz musician local jg kyk syaharani, eqoutez, glen, park drive juga...asiiiikkkkk...."Can't wait to watch it!!!"

Yaiyalah dah lumayan tuh harga tiket, dah lama banget pengen, mudah2an JJF ga kayak konser2 musik yang bikin penontonnya mati kayak konser2 musik di Indo gitu deh...
Nonton puas, Nyawa selamat, Amin.

Let's Rock Out Pals! (refered to Mba Nov, Mba Nelly and Ka'Eva)

PS: Big Sorry and Permission bwt Ugo and Gezka
Just this time kok...hehehe Luv u both,dearests !!

a Quotation from Utada Hikaru - COLORS (translation)

2008-02-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

If you can't see a blue sky,
open up your blue umbrella.

Isn't that great? The canvas is yours.

If you say you can only paint
Dreamless pictures
How many times must
I paint over the canvas?
A white flag is only raised
When you've given up
I'm a color you don't know now.

Gaizka (my only savior)

2008-02-19T00:43:00.000-08:00

...ma...ma...

i love u Gaizka

u are the reason i live

sorry, i can't be a perfect mom for you

but deep inside

love u bunch my dearest, mwah!

"mama!!!" said my cute boy

Good Bye...Dad

2008-02-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

never enough time to share

what i want to tell;

the story me and my friends in school,

my cool mark in study, my dreams in the future

and other parts of my life.

i mad with You

why you leave me so early?

You haven't seen my grad smile, my first day in working

even my wedding day 'till Gaizka come to this world

why dad?

only my deepest heart could say that

i will always pray for and dream of you

coz everyday i miss u, Dad

As the times pass

learning and trying to understand

that you cannot be around for a long time

is hard

but just good bye, Dad

Your Love, Care and dedication

to our family

are never forgotten

thanks for many times

...Take a rest...

"Flavor of Life" Utada Hikaru (English Translation)

2008-02-15T02:08:00.001-08:00

When you say thank you to me,
For some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
Get undone even after the good bye
A hint of bitterness.
The flavor of life

Stuck midpoint between friends and lovers,
Like an un-riped fruit dreaming about the day of harvest
Because of being unable to just move one more step forward
What’s causing this frustration baby

When you say thank you to me,
For some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
Get undone even after the good bye.
A hint of bitterness
The flavor of life

Sweet talk and tasteless conversations.
it sparks no interest in me
even when things do not go the way you want
it doesnt mean you’ve thrown your life away

When asked ‘what’s wrong?’
I answer ‘it’s nothing’
The smile that disappears after goodbye
It’s unlike me

The more i wish to believe in you,
For some reason it hurts even more
‘i like you a lot’ instead of ‘i love you’ sounds more like you
the flavor of life

The period when you suddenly remember the scent of someone you had almost forgotten
I want to be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow more

A future tender and warmer than a diamond
I want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, i want to spend it with you

When you say thank you to me,
For some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesnt
Get undone even after the good bye.
A hint of bitterness
The flavor of life

...

2008-02-14T00:50:00.002-08:00

“Finally…” I said to myself
At the time we far…only ash of our memories we had…
No tears no pain…No smile no desire…
All had done till last unspoken words.

Back to You

2008-02-14T00:50:00.001-08:00

Some reasons….
I get myself turning
Some facts…
I accept myself hurt and cheer
Some things…
I want it back to you
Because some of yours…
I love a lot!

Alien

2008-02-14T00:49:00.000-08:00

Sitting alone in a corner of my room
Tears drop one by one like it could not stop
Heart I cannot be lied but it breaks so
Why this flow so uncertainty
Feelings for a thing blur

Break the Chain

2008-02-14T00:48:00.002-08:00

How could I?
Chain that bounds me with heart…
Cannot I break
Is it made from steel?
Not of course but it is bound tightly with “something”
Make me breathe deep like I caught in rush water

Clingy

2008-02-14T00:48:00.001-08:00

Why we?
No one could answer it …
Just having u in here I ‘m clingy
You and only you
Like nothing else hardly reach me
Don’t care if it sounds pathetic…

Heart

2008-02-14T00:45:00.000-08:00

Bring the flower I adore so much
In quite room the blush come in

Hell we drop heaven we make
Were we in love?

Till the chemistry joined
We were …

No bad or good
Just flowing heart we had